Downward Facing Blog

Recently, I had the honour to participate in one of Elements’ Yoga Teacher Trainees’ assessment class. The trainee teacher is a Japanese lady. Clearly English is not her mother tongue and at times she struggled with words. However, having said that, I must say: she did a good job. I enjoyed her class. There was nothing amazing or extraordinary about the sequence she presented. In fact, there was a few hiccups if I must be picky. Yet, I would happily return for a second class, if you ask me.

And so “What does it take to be a good teacher?” Adrian asked during lunch later the same day.

Two persons, on different occasion, commented that they were amazed by how people would go where Adrian does (not literally but you know what I mean). And it’s not hard to see the influx of practitioners to Yoga Elements Studio whenever Adrian is teaching. It is especially so after his long break; practitioners seem to be HUNGRY for his classes.

I used to work with the biggest yoga company in Malaysia; they have such extensive list of teachers that I sometimes wonder if teaching yoga the only profession avavilable in KL. Anyway, there’s all sort of characters in there that it never failed to amaze me.

Not only had I seen competition among students but face-down among teachers, too!

It has become so rampant that I had to give them kudos for being so open about their competitiveness. Besides vying for the strongest arms and most pretzel-like body, there’s also the scrambling for popularity: number of attendance has become an indicator of how good a teacher is.

Out of desperation, some even show advanced asana without guiding the students in the hope of impressing the students so they’d come back to the class. The ‘trick’ seemed to work at first but not for long: the students soon get bored of being AUDIENCE of the one-man show.

The teaching picture has become such that teachers became hostile to one another: some would criticise the other JUST to bring their popularity down. The most terrifying comment I heard from a fellow teacher about another teacher’s class:” I don’t even know what’s so good about her class. I didn’t sweat a single drop in her class!” I was appalled: even the amount of sweat one lost determine the capability if a teacher!

No doubt, majority of people still perceive yoga as another form of exercise. Honestly, I started yoga just like any one else: for the physical aspect. However, not too long after that that I found something was missing from my practice. No matter how much and how hard I practiced, it didn’t seem to satisfy me entirely. And that’s when I started to seek for spiritual teachings that now slowly putting the puzzles back in place.

Now, I keep my daily practice but I no longer crave for the physical strain I once put on myself. When I see a student or fellow teacher that yearn for more, it hurts me. I wish I could do something to help them. But it’s so hard to convey the message. There’s something subtle that comes from the inside that no words can do it judgement.

I taught a class at Sri Panwa yesterday: A small group of 5 persons. I asked for Adrian’s critical comment after the class. He said TECHNICALLY, it’s a good class. But it felt gym-like.

Honestly, I hated the class. It’s one of the worst class I taught. I didn’t feel connected with the students. I didn’t feel myself. I can’t quite figure out why. Was it because of the strong sea breeze that carried my voice away? Was it because I hadn’t taught in a month? What was it?

Clearly it’s not about the asanas. I knew I said all the right thing, and had given the correct instruction. I just wasn’t there. The students seemed pretty happy about the class. But I can’t help feeling guilty for not being there. I felt ashame of not opening up to them while they came to be with respect and the enthusiasm to learn.

There’s so much about being a teacher. How I wish there would be a Lonely Planet Guidebook for yoga teaching. It’s like no matter how well we know about muscle movement, whether we can put the legs behind our head, or how good our voice sound in chanting OM, there’s still the journey we have to walk on our own, that no one can teach.