Downward Facing Blog

(I borrowed this pic… it has nothing to do with the article :-p)

 

Admit it. You’ve always wondered about it. Looking at flexible, beautiful bodies contort into themselves into yoga postures -and thinking yoga must make for better sex. Although you’ve probably asked if,yoga would help you to lose weight,  you really secretly also want to know- “does yoga help me in the bedroom”?

 

When you write an article about sex and yoga, you must walk a fine line. It would be easiest to write a cosmopolitan-like headline: “Yoga for the bedroom!” or like many, take the opposite tact: swing the other way and tell people sex is something to be avoided if you want “real” spiritual progress. That’s not hard to find either. Take for example this sloka from the Bhagavad Gita:

“One should hold one’s body, neck and head erect in a straight line and stare steadily at the tip of the nose. Thus, with an unagitated, subdued mind, devoid of fear, completely free from sex life, one should meditate upon Me within the heart and make Me the ultimate goal of life.

On the subject of sex and yoga, these two attitudes stand facing off, yet, it’s the blending of the two which makes for a much more challenging, yet interesting, path to take.

 

Sex grabs our attention like almost no other subject on earth. Perhaps unconsciously we sense it’s central role to our survival as a species, and individually for pleasure, progeny and approval. Yet, as Sigmund Freud suggested (and perhaps overstated), all human endeavors have their basis in libido and sex connects to just about everything. Even yoga.

 

Yoga and its related disciplines from India recognize sexuality as a part of an individual’s needs. Vedic tradition, of which yoga is a part, recognizes four aims of life: work (artha), love (Kama), individual path (dharma), and spiritual liberation (moksha). The three domains of artha, Kama, and dharma are all meant to lead us ultimately towards the supreme goal of moksha. Still, the question of HOW love and sex is expressed on the path to moksha generates a diversity of approaches.

Some teachings say avoid it for spiritual purity, others say utilize it in the interest of higher realization. So which one do you choose?

 

The majority of the Earth’s population may just think of sex for pleasure or as a means of procreation. Of course this is fine, yet as you read these words , it means that you are someone who is seeking something higher. Perhaps it’s a greater sense of connection with your lover, or maybe even a better understanding of your life purpose. It depends on how you look at it. If sex is something you do as a sport and a quick release of endorphins, the yoga asanas, like exercise, will help you to physically perform better. If it’s used as platform to build more and more energy, that short amount of pleasure can escalate until you are filled with bliss from head to toe. Tantra teaches that keeping your mind running along the edge of that trance-bliss of sexual pleasure and orgasm can draw you into the bliss of samadhi and the supreme.

 

Let’s first back up a bit however. Sex energy, as the intrinsic life force of our being, can be held inward, or expressed outwards in one of an endless number of ways.

  

When this life force is held inwards due to cultural and religious repression, abuse or shame, blocked sex energy may show up inside the psyche as addictions, control issues, money problems, or simply as a lack of creativity. It will always show its force somewhere.  The real issue is to learn how to focus it consciously.

 

Yoga and Ayurveda considers physical orgasm and ejaculation as a strong force of downward moving energy in the body, called “Apana”. This internal prana also rules over childbirth, menstruation, and stability. It is considered to be both a person’s resistance against disease and if in excess, it becomes the force of disease itself. Like all pranas, it is closely associated with the mind. So if there is too much downward flow, it pulls the mind increasingly towards sensual gratification. Simply put, when you strive for sex as a way of “getting off” you won’t find real emotional or spiritual satisfaction. When we look at life from a larger perspective, more sensual gratification leads to more desire, then as the usual course of things ultimately ends with dissatisfaction. That is the cycle of desire as poignantly taught in the Buddhist and Hindu teachings on samsara.

 

 So repression doesn’t work, and chasing endlessly after brief physical pleasure may not be in-line with a holistic, spiritually focused life- so a balance must be struck.

 

The yoga sutras of Patanjali, like all other Vedic systems advocate one of the ground rules is “brahmacharaya”, or moderation in sex life. For those living, working, and paying bills in the real world, this means to not spread your attention around wantonly. Choose one lover at a time, in a relationship that is based on genuine love and assists each other on the spiritual path- moksha. Monks and yogis who renounce the world and its responsibilities are advised to be celibate completely and to focus the energy upwards to the spiritual orgasm, not the physical one.

 

Which path you take depends on personal inclination, and surprisingly, it is generally regarded that the householder path is more difficult of the two. Keeping the bills paid, your relationships strong, and a keen eye on your spiritual development is said to be so challenging that it is often described as ‘walking a razor’s edge’.

 

Standard religious practice segregates “spiritual life” and “material life” and suggests there are some things so impure we must rid ourselves and our lives of it to make real progress. There are the usual demons- alcohol, drugs, meat, and of course sex. Yet it’s easy to see that renunciation doesn’t always make for freedom from it. How many countless numbers of monks, priests, and gurus have gotten busted falling off the wagon? Something isn’t working fully when people renounce before they are ready, and we may want to succeed in life and develop spiritually at the same time. What is a seeker to do? Out of this dilemma, Tantric philosophy was born.

Tantra says we need to realize that there is nothing to run from or towards. There is no pure, or impure nor is there any moral code. It says we’re seeking spiritual freedom on the earth, not from the earth. Instead, we can employ all things as our launching pad for higher realization. Simply, it’s just a subtle shift of perception.

 

 The first shift in perception may be to consider sex as having a much greater potential than to simply get off. This starts by being less goal focused on the big orgasm, but instead ride waves of pleasure for a longer period of time. A kind of spiritual maxim is that whatever you think about, energy moves to that thing or area. Easy to see really, as whatever you focus on in life tends to expand. If you think orgasms are important, then orgasms generally become what your sex is about. If you think you want sex to be about developing your relationship, then that tends to be what you try to use it for. As the energy is focused upwards along the spine towards the higher chakras the nature of it changes as well. It can transmute into pure love at the heart chakra, higher communication and divine will at the throat chakra, deep intuition at the third eye, and spiritual connection and even moksha at the crown chakra. But how to do that?

 

Strangely enough, yoga asanas are a perfect place to start. Doing dynamic yoga and certain postures such as baddha konasana, upavistha konasana, and hanumanasana as well as mastery of mula bandha will strengthen the pelvic floor. This enables your pelvic floor to become like a trampoline for the inhale and the apana downward force of energy. Besides, a toned pelvic floor not only lifts and increases your personal energy; it will also allow you to have stronger orgasms and to be more orgasmic in general.  By redirecting downward moving energy to reverse and travel upwards you accomplish the transmutation of sex energy temporarily and experience more pleasure in the process.

 

Women can also learn to lift both the sexual energy through breath and “vajroli mudra” which is an upward and inward contraction of the vagnial walls. There are further teachings in hatha yoga on how to reverse the downward course of the ovum each month and suggests that this may be the key to the “diamond body of light”, and a very very long lifespan. Men similarly derive great benefit physically and spiritually from learning to orgasm without ejaculation in the same way. The Hatha Yoga Pradipika, a classic text on yoga about 800 years old, advises that to do vajroli, one must also perform “Amaroli” - the drinking of the midstream of the morning urine. The practice of amaroli sends a hormonal feedback through the body so that fewer eggs are released, and there is less apana generated.  

In addition to asanas, mudras, and bandhas you train your mind and breath to focus at higher chakras while you are making love. When you use mula bandha and vajroli mudra, focus on a higher chakra such as the third eye and breathe-in. Try it now, nobody will even see you doing it! As you contract the pelvic floor, inhale, and focus at your third eye, maybe holding the breath for a moment. Observe what you feel, and notice if the breath feels as if it is traveling up or down in the body. Inhales are guided to move energy up in the body, like a straw.  If you think of “up” as being towards God and “down” as being in the other direction then you can also bring your mind and concentration as part of the sex act. Instead of focusing only on the pleasures of your genitalia, spread the sensation out through the body and upwards to the third eye. With each inhale, see the light getting brighter and clearer as if the breath itself is fueling the energy in the chakra.

 

The strong upward burst of energy and desire itself then becomes generalized as a lust for life and being alive. This burns like a fire within the soul and compels one to greater and greater levels of dedication, energy, and accomplishment. How you choose to direct it is up to you!

  

If your lover is open to it, try these two exercises with him or her, however, in some ways you don’t even have to say you’re doing it. These Tantric techniques will greatly accelerate connection and intimacy with your lover very easily.

 

Belly breathing:

Let the man lay down on his left side and the woman lay down facing him on her right side. Move right up against each other so that your bellies are pressed together and the tips of your noses touch. What you will notice is, as the woman, the left nostril will become more open for breath and if you are the man it will be in the right. When the right side of the nose is open, it is said to be “solar”, or masculine in quality, whereas when the breath flows in the left it is “lunar” or feminine. Texts on the subject are adamant that a man should only have intercourse when the breath is in the right side and for women on the left. As you lay there, pressed up against each other, coordinate your breathing so that as he exhales, she inhales and keep going. Picture his solar breath entering the lunar side as she inhales and he inhales her lunar breath as she exhales. This can be intense and very sexy!

 

Chakra alignment:

On a discourse on the subject of “soul mates” Indian spiritual teacher Osho said that a soul mate is another person in whom all seven chakras line up and connect to each other. The best thing about this is, it can be done deliberately. With a meditative mind and some sensitivity you can read a couple’s connections by seeing on which chakra they connect or not connect. To understand the relationship as it is, consider each chakra with it’s meanings as related to relationship:

 

1st chakra: material stability, home, the foundations of the relationship

 

2nd chakra: sexuality, emotion, trust

 

3rd charka: power, ego, attainment in the world

 

4th chakra: heart, love, surrender

 

5th chakra: communication, will power, soul to soul communication

 

6th chakra: mind, psychic connection, mentality

 

7th chakra: spiritual connection with a higher source

 

Sit or lay opposite each other and have both of you direct your attention at the root chakra. Practice sending and receiving from this center, until you sense a connection has been established. It is helpful to learn some of the details of each center such as color and meaning. Use the following color visualization as you move up the spine.

1st - red

2nd - orange

3rd - yellow

4th - green or pink

5th - blue

6th - purple or white

7th - purple or multicolor

Move upwards through each chakra up to the sixth and then return to focus on areas which seem a bit weaker or less sensitive. For example, if you have been fighting, the heart chakra may feel closed down and you will definitely detect a change when you work to open it up. When all systems say “GO” then connect with each other particularly at the root chakra, second chakra, heart chakra, and third eye. Many people experience this as opening in ways that are intense, spiritual, and extremely pleasurable. With practice, you can do this over distance, simply coordinating which chakra both of you will focus on at one time. Observe the work and personal relationships around you and see if you can “see” from which center people are connecting to each other at. Each type of relationship will have it’s own unique combination where they connect or not. With your lover, keep all seven open and your relationship will outlive all the relationships you know!

 

In fact, you do know now. Does yoga help you in the bedroom? Yes! Does sex help your yoga? Maybe even more than you know- yet.